I�hate studying, My eyes are burning and i feel horrible. I want to get up and run around and scream at the top of my lungs and have fun and i have to resist these temptations because iapos;m running out of time before my exam and its making me feel frustrated...
I almost feel like i could describe resisting my impulses as painful.
Then sometimes when im reading i lie on my bed and swing my legs around and then i start thinking my legs are moving... Stop moving legs... And that whole time ive also been reading the words and just realised i have no idea what i have read and so i have to start again and then i decide i need a cup of tea and i get distracted by conversation and i feel like im a rubber band being streached two ways... One direction is the need to study.. The other direction is to not give a fuck and just do whatever cause i donapos;t care right now. But ive learnt when i fail stuff cause i took that attitude i later feel sad, even though at the time when i gave up i felt happy.
Then i start thinking about a whole lot of other shit, like windows and curtains and pigeons and car horns and cleaners and police and grand theft order and then skateboarding and music... And words and what words mean and why they mean that and how they got that meaning and what if it had been called something else... OMG�sometimes my own thoughts give me headaches, and deprive me of sleep.
Im generally just not committed... Too lazy and i live for now and not later and its causing me issues and right now im having frustration and anxiety. SOMEBODY�SHOOT�ME
=]
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